I wake up empty and numb
an outsider to the rest, a ghost to some.
I look in the mirror and who is starting back,
not me but I am in there somewhere
beneath the surface in a cage of anxiety.
I scream but no one hears me,
a prisoner in my own being,
my eyes are open but they are not seeing.
I’m hanging on the edge of reality,
a constant struggle to hold onto that shred of me,
if I let go and fall, i will be lost for eternity
only an empty shell would remain.
A friend tells me a joke,
my mouth smiles but I am not feeling now.
I’d cry if I could but I’ve forgotten how.
My muscles are tense
my heart is racing
I can’t sit down I have to keep pacing.
Why is this happening to me?
I’ve questioned so long,
all of my other friends seem to belong.
Emotions I have to fake,
wound so tight, the slightest noise and I might break.
Shatter into a million pieces and be swept away.
No more to feel, no more to say.
Staring at the bottom of the glass, the drink helps but it does not last.
And so time keeps moving on,
my mind has almost gone
I need to peel back the layers of time
and snatch what it rightfully mine,
my sanity, my anchor to reality
before I slip away lost in the limbo of my mind.
Have to search, have to discover
myself I need to find.
By Lee Gliddon
Lee is currently working on a collection of poetry and a short story. This particular poem is special to Lee because it was written from his own personal experience.
